AuPair Issues

I read something about AuPairs and their tasks/duties. And I think I understand it in a different way. First thing to start from the basic, is: You are deciding to go to another country and being an AuPair in first row because you want to see something else. You want to experience the dynamics and living of and in a distinct culture. When you like to work with kids it is surely a good advantage cos you are integrated into the family you are moving to. Household tasks are okay, you have to do them anyway too at your home place with your parents or in your own appartment. So it is not a problem to clean a bit.

AuPair and Family should both benefit from each others existence. The family should be aware that the Au-Pair also expects to be involved in their all-day as an observer & learner of their culture. This includes the possibility to visit a language course, which should be inserted into the Au-Pairs' schedule properly to combine it with All-day tasks. Yes, to help the parents with their All-Day Life is why they have requested the help of an Au-Pair but it doesn't mean that an Au-Pair is the slave of their will. The pocket money is often not that high as what they would pay for a Nanny or cleaning staff, that is why some of the parents tend to use their Au-Pair as a cheap employer even they are usually good people. It starts with: "Can you do this today, I can't find the time." And you find yourself in cleaning and washing their personal stuff. In that case it is even more of great importance to give them the chance to learn something, here to name particularly language.
If the Au-Pair feels rather as a cleaning person than a fully family member there went something wrong.

And certainly we have to spend attention on how to arrange the all-day and nobody gets out of their minds if something important comes up and the Au-Pair has to jump in and neglect their language course. Emergencies can happen but it should be figured out a solution for both sides - one to make the Au-Pair able to feel useful and not wasting their time in an other country as a cleaning person and on the other side to relieve the parents from their work in kids-related issues and easy household tasks without becoming an impersonal employer.

It should be about a big sister/ big brother feeling.

And now about Au-Pair's behaviour. It is surely not a good thing to have a smoker as an Au-Pair BUT me and my girl have been thinking about "if we have money and kids..." - of course I don't want a heavy smoker & drinker that close to them but some young girls smoke maybe 5 cigarettes per day and drink from time to time at weekend. For sure I don't want them to take care of the kids then but it is not a big deal if they have free time when they come home on weekend a bit drunk. When they have worked the whole week why not letting them enjoy a bit fun in their spare-time?
And as long as they don't smoke inside the house there can be figured out something.
But maybe it is because I have been like that too - smoking from time to time & also like to have fun and go out some time at weekend.