You, me and 2010

I am glad to leave behind a year that just ...stood still. The first part of the year seemed to promise steps forward. We were on the right track. We were in love, we had so much fun, shared kisses and a lot of worshipping .

I remembered that we were almost careless. But in a good way, we simply tried to didn't put any pressure on anything. We were loose, free and we enjoyed life.
We laughed, we drank, we had fun with different kinds of people. We worshipped each other and then something happened. And we lost it over the year. Resulting in what it is now.
2010 was not a good year. Actually it was a quite bad one but still had its moments.

Things broke, things were fixed but will never be the same again. It got kinda routine, something we feared, something we disputed but thats when reality catches you.
Nothing can be new and exiting forever. It is like a relationship: When you fall in love you can feel the little flashlights which set your body under electricity. The butterflies are circling inside your belly and you feel brave, refreshed and sanguinely. It is like you are put under a spell.
But the time passes by and even the butterflies are gone, now you feel how your feet build roots, chains into the ground. Those roots telling you, you really find a home.
I don't wanna feel anymore like I'd be on holidays. I don't want to feel accepted anymore but anchored.
And that is what I do. I feel the deep love, more than exitement and worshipping.

I feel something that is "real". I have worries, I have pain but it is easier to bear because I know I am home. And for me home means also that you get some kind of routine. I enjoy little break-outs. I still feel special because of the honour to live in the city I love.
But I feel like I am having a life. It feels so much home because it feels used to. It feels cosy, it feels like something much bigger than it has been in the beginning. From a huge crush it turned into the love of my life ♥.

I'll never gonna leave again.
Since october it was not that wel anymorel. We have hidden, we have been down but now it seems we got over it. We collected powers to start over, better into the next one. It has to be better.
Resolutions are not the worst thing. How can you walk into the future without hope and will to change? Nothing will ever change if you stick to the past. It is nothing about leaving things behind but taking a different course. It is not about getting seperated from things but to maybe renew them. Renovate them.

How can you look into the future without the hope your wishes will finally come true if you fight for them hard enough. You need to WANT a change to make things change.