Just because we talked about them yesterday's night as we were not able to sleep.
The 1st (P.) was the worst and I dated his twin brother before. I know that it's not the nicest thing but it was like that even I can not remember anymore why. It was lame. I can not even remember why I liked him, maybe because my best friend those days wanted us to be a couple. It ended up in a big disappointment.
The 2nd man (A.) in my life was a real asshole and cheated me 3 times within a week, the week after we just got together.. I cried bloody tears and it was the first real heartache and at that moment I kinda got an idea that I am not really good with men at all.
The 3rd(M.) One was actually a nice guy and I think really in love with me. And it might be really mean to say it but finally he was not my league. He was really naive and a bit simple-minded. But as you can draw out now the love was not mutual and I got rid of him after 2 months.
The 4th (T.)I still sometimes regret why I haven't been in love with him more. He is one of the best guys, one of those you should actually marry. But it was all so complicated and I was so damn selfish and I think I hurted him so much, he really deserved a good girl. And I was not good enough from my own angle of view. I was not what he needed and sometimes I don't dare to think like that but I used him to heal the wounds made by others because he made me feel loved and made me feel better. I felt pretty and I still in a way love him for that.
The 5th (B.) was kind of those guys who troubles you in a good way. He needed me but even more he needed his best friend. And sometimes I felt like having a relationship with both of them. I couldn't take that and left. Moreover my inner alarm was ringing again and I got scared about that, I feared every relationship that got too serious because of the pain and disappointments I experienced before. I didn't want to give anybody the chance to hurt me anymore. But still we are talking from time to time.
The 6th (A.) was my one and not only but real Ons. I guess everybody needs to try out once. And it was okay. Nothing that completely changes your world but still okay. Important for me to find out that I am not very good being put aside after it. Thank god we still have been able to become friends what I really appreciated. It helped me not feeling used and dirty.
The 7th was the first one who turned my world upside-down. I knew from the first beginning that if I put to much feelings in it - it will just hurt myself finally. So I tried to enjoy it how it was. And it was amazing ♥ He was the first one to show me how it could be, how it could feel like. And even we haven't been close - it was already close enough. Close enough to let the fire dance on my skin. ♥♥♥
The last one is something really special and the first one in my relationship with Nadine that has a special status. It is an emotional cuddling - loaded connection. Just lovely but nothing to do with love eventually. Not someone to tell "I love you" but someone to tell " I'll always care about you." ♥
And then the unbelievable happened and I met my beloved soulmate in a girl. And she's perfect ♥♥♥
So still ^____^, take it with humor:
The 1st (P.) was the worst and I dated his twin brother before. I know that it's not the nicest thing but it was like that even I can not remember anymore why. It was lame. I can not even remember why I liked him, maybe because my best friend those days wanted us to be a couple. It ended up in a big disappointment.
The 2nd man (A.) in my life was a real asshole and cheated me 3 times within a week, the week after we just got together.. I cried bloody tears and it was the first real heartache and at that moment I kinda got an idea that I am not really good with men at all.
The 3rd(M.) One was actually a nice guy and I think really in love with me. And it might be really mean to say it but finally he was not my league. He was really naive and a bit simple-minded. But as you can draw out now the love was not mutual and I got rid of him after 2 months.
The 4th (T.)I still sometimes regret why I haven't been in love with him more. He is one of the best guys, one of those you should actually marry. But it was all so complicated and I was so damn selfish and I think I hurted him so much, he really deserved a good girl. And I was not good enough from my own angle of view. I was not what he needed and sometimes I don't dare to think like that but I used him to heal the wounds made by others because he made me feel loved and made me feel better. I felt pretty and I still in a way love him for that.
The 5th (B.) was kind of those guys who troubles you in a good way. He needed me but even more he needed his best friend. And sometimes I felt like having a relationship with both of them. I couldn't take that and left. Moreover my inner alarm was ringing again and I got scared about that, I feared every relationship that got too serious because of the pain and disappointments I experienced before. I didn't want to give anybody the chance to hurt me anymore. But still we are talking from time to time.
The 6th (A.) was my one and not only but real Ons. I guess everybody needs to try out once. And it was okay. Nothing that completely changes your world but still okay. Important for me to find out that I am not very good being put aside after it. Thank god we still have been able to become friends what I really appreciated. It helped me not feeling used and dirty.
The 7th was the first one who turned my world upside-down. I knew from the first beginning that if I put to much feelings in it - it will just hurt myself finally. So I tried to enjoy it how it was. And it was amazing ♥ He was the first one to show me how it could be, how it could feel like. And even we haven't been close - it was already close enough. Close enough to let the fire dance on my skin. ♥♥♥
The last one is something really special and the first one in my relationship with Nadine that has a special status. It is an emotional cuddling - loaded connection. Just lovely but nothing to do with love eventually. Not someone to tell "I love you" but someone to tell " I'll always care about you." ♥
And then the unbelievable happened and I met my beloved soulmate in a girl. And she's perfect ♥♥♥
So still ^____^, take it with humor:
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